Be My Anchor
by llr6473
Summary: Bella and Edward were once in love...or so Bella thought. Now that unexpected circumstances have forced them together, can they get it right?
1. Chapter 1

**All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**

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"I've always known you've never really cared for me," I whispered when I heard footsteps approach the bed. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, but I knew it was him. He started to speak, but I continued.

"It's not like you've made it a secret lately. But this…" I paused. "This is the last straw."

I opened my watery eyes and gazed sadly into his beautiful emerald orbs.

"I'm sure you have some great excuse about work or how busy you were, but I'm done. I will not stand aside and watch you treat my son like shit."

I could hear my voice getting louder and reminded myself to keep it down. I glanced toward the bassinet the nurses had wheeled beside my bed to make sure I hadn't frightened Noah.

Edward glanced at the floor and shuffled his feet for a moment before meeting my eyes again.

"You have to know how sorry I am," he said in a flat voice. "I never intended for this to happen."

It was difficult to keep from screaming and sobbing at the same time.

"You missed his birth, Edward," I sighed. "I can't imagine that I'll ever be able to forgive you for this. If you cared anything about either of us you would have made sure I wasn't alone today. You would have seen him being born and followed the nurse as she cleaned him up and weighed him. You would have wanted to hold him and be here for him."

"I'll try harder," he said.

"You've been saying that for as long as I can remember now," I said. "I realized today that nothing will ever change unless I change it. That's what I'm doing now."

He looked as if he would argue with me, so I pushed forward.

"Please leave," I said. "You weren't here when we needed you, so we don't need you anymore. Give me a few days, and I'll be in touch about my things."

I moved to turn over, but Edward spoke again.

"Bella, stop," he scoffed. "I screwed up. It happens."

I couldn't recall a time that I'd ever felt more devastated, but Edward looked cool as a cucumber. I'm sure he thought I was just spouting empty threats.

"I'm absolutely serious, Edward. I've already arranged for whatever is ours to be removed from the apartment. We'll be out of your hair in no time, and you can be back to your old life."

Noah stirred from beside me, and Edward glanced at his son for the first time. In the four hours since his birth I'd already attempted to nurse him, whispered "You Are My Sunshine" and watched his beautiful face as he slept. Edward hadn't even thought to ask his name.

"This is a load of shit, Bella," he yelled. "He's my kid too, and you can't just pull crap like this."

This was it. All or nothing, right?

"I'm his mother, and I'll do whatever I have to if it's in his best interest." I was raising my voice now, but I couldn't stop. "I've saved enough money writing for the paper that I can afford my own place for a while. When Noah is a few months old I'll look in to moving back home."

"Noah," he questioned.

"That's his name," I said. "Noah Charles Swan."

That seemed to stir something inside him.

"You didn't give him my last name?" He looked furious, but I couldn't find it in myself to care.

"I didn't," I answered. "I didn't put your name on his birth certificate either. I thought it would be easier this way. It will be like you and I never happened."

There was silence for a moment before I spoke again.

"I left the ring you gave me on the counter at the apartment. I figured you should have that back. I also left some money that should equal my half of rent and groceries and stuff for the first few months when I wasn't contributing anything. I tried to pack most of mine and Noah's personal belongings this morning so they'd be out of your way. Someone will be by to get everything."

More silence.

"There's really nothing else to say here, Edward."

I could feel myself losing it, and I wished more than anything that he'd leave so I could be miserable in peace. My lips began to quiver. I could feel the tears coming.

"I'm sorry this has been so miserable for you. Noah and I will be fine, and I know you will be too."

With that, I turned to face the wall. There was silence for a second then I heard Edward head toward the door and down the hall.

Once I was sure I could no longer hear his footsteps, I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed for so many reasons. I sobbed for the loss of a father for my son, for the loss of the little family I so desperately wanted and for the loss of the only man I'd ever loved. I felt the last few shreds of my heart shatter and join the other pieces Edward had left in his wake.

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**So, what do you think? I have high hopes for this story, and I hope you'll love it as much as I already do. I have a busy semester going on right now, but I promise to update as often as I can if anyone seems interested. I'd love to read any reviews! Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.**

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_9 Months Earlier_

"What time does your plane get in tomorrow?" I asked. Edward would finally be home again after six long months, and I could barely contain my excitement.

"About 7 p.m.," he said. "You're still picking me up from the airport, right baby?"

I loved it when he called me baby. It made my stomach flutter and my knees feel weak. Edward being stationed at the Navy base in San Diego while I went to school at the University of Florida made things tough sometimes, but I didn't care. I loved him too much to care, and I knew I'd always wait for him to come home again.

"Of course I'm picking you up! I'm so excited," I almost shrieked.

"Great," he laughed. "Just make sure you leave Gainesville around 3:30. Knowing you, you won't really leave until 4:30, and you should be right on time."

"Ha Ha," I deadpanned. "I can't help that I always get stuck in traffic and stuff. I always get there eventually. Waiting an extra half an hour never killed anyone."

"It almost killed me last time," he lowered his voice. "You know how excited I get to see you and how much I want you. I really thought I was going to explode sitting around at the airport."

"Well, I promise I'll be on time tomorrow. Cross my heart," I teased.

"Good thing," he said. "Listen baby, I've got to finish packing. I can't wait to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either," I said. "Call me before you take off."

"Will do," he said. "Bye."

I wanted to jump up and down when we got off the phone. I hadn't seen Edward in person in almost three months, and it was finally hitting me that I would be seeing him in less than 24 hours.

Thank God today was the last day of classes before Winter break. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had piles of homework while Edward was home. More than likely, I would have missed a lot of assignments.

Starting tomorrow, the man I loved would be home on leave from the Navy for two weeks. Life was good.

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"I'm going to tell him this time," I told my roommate, Alice, over breakfast. "I know you don't believe me, but I'm really going to tell him."

"I'll believe it when I see it," she snarked. "You've loved the guy for the last two years, you flew to California to see him and you've still never mentioned it. At this point, you two will be married with three kids before you tell him you love him."

"Yeah, well he's never said it either," I said as I stared at my bowl of Cheerios. "It'd just be so much easier if I knew how he felt first."

"Men are pussies, Bella. You know this," she said. I'm sure she could tell by the expression on my face that I was still so nervous about telling Edward I loved him.

"Yeah," I whispered. I think she felt the need to cheer me up.

"Bella, the man invited you to spend a week in California," she said. "He drove you to and from Los Angeles just so you could sight see…he loves you, I know it. Don't beat yourself up just because it isn't Facebook official."

I rolled my eyes, but I smiled anyway remembering my trip to California. He was so sweet. We had walked up and down the Walk of Fame for almost four hours just because I loved seeing all of the celebrity's stars. Edward wasn't much of a sightseer, but he hardly complained because he knew how excited I was to be there. To repay him we spent the entire next day locked in the hotel room. We'd had so much sex that week I was surprised I was able to ever walk again.

"I know, I know," I sighed. "I promise I'm telling him while he's home. No excuses."

"Yay," she sang. "I'm so excited for you."

All I could do now was pray he said it back.

* * *

"I'm so fucking excited you're home," I beamed as we turned toward the turnpike to head to Gainesville from Orlando. We had a two-hour drive ahead, and I could feel the sexual tension suffocating us.

"You better speed all the way there," Edward laughed as he tangled our fingers together and kissed the back of my hand. "I've missed you so much, baby."

I could feel my heart flutter at his words. This man had turned me into such a sap, but I loved every minute of it.

"I've missed you too, Edward," I said. "Can't you just stay here forever? The Navy won't mind, right?"

"You're so funny," he teased. "Do you seriously want to see my ass in the brig?"

"I guess not," I winked and laughed. "You'd look pretty sexy in those jailbird stripes though."

We spent the remainder of our ride laughing together and talking about the next two weeks. He'd be gone again before Christmas rolled around, and that made me so sad. He tried to cheer me up by making me guess what he'd gotten me, but I sucked at guessing and he refused to give me a hint.

These were the moments I loved he most with Edward. We always had so much fun together. He knew how to make me laugh and how to cheer me up when I was sad. Sure, he was a pain in my ass sometimes, but he was worth it.

We arrived at my apartment a little ahead of schedule, but we grabbed his bags and raced up the stairs anyway.

"Fuck," he said angrily as I struggled to get the key in the lock. He startled me, and I dropped them.

"What? You scared the hell out of me."

"I can't believe I forgot that Alice would be here. That's such a downer," he sighed. "I wanted to hear you scream my name all night."

I picked up my keys and turned around to look him in the eye.

"Alice isn't here tonight," I almost whispered. "She's dating this new guy, Jasper, so I asked her to stay with him."

Edward dropped his bags so quickly I almost didn't catch the movement. He pushed me up against my apartment door and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I immediately melted against him and weaved my fingers into his hair. It was much shorter than it used to be, but there was plenty to grab onto. He moaned against my mouth and lifted me up so he could grind against me.

I was debating how inappropriate it would be to let him take me right here when I heard someone clear their throat. My mind was hazy when I opened my eyes, but I noticed Paul and Jake leaning against the wall snickering.

"Hope we're not interrupting anything," Jake laughed. "Just wanted to let you know that anyone standing in the parking lot can totally see everything you're doing."

Edward laughed and set me on my feet again. I had to hold onto him to make sure I wouldn't fall.

"Hey guys, good to see you," Edward said leaning over to shake their hands. Paul and Jake lived in the apartment next to mine, and we hung out pretty often. They'd been dating for as long as I'd known them, and I'd never met two people who fit so perfectly together.

"Good to see you too, man," Paul said. "Haven't seen you around for a while."

"I haven't been back to Florida since Spring," he sighed pulling at his hair. I could tell he wanted to hurry them along so we could head inside, but he was as nice as ever. "They're keeping me busy out there."

"Well I'm glad you're getting a break, " Paul continued. "Listen, we'll let y'all go – you looked pretty busy when we interrupted. We should all get dinner one night before you leave again."

"Definitely," I chimed in. "I'll give you a call sometime this week."

We all said our goodbyes and Edward and I turned back toward my door as Paul and Jake headed for the stairs. I could feel his body heat behind me, and my hands were almost shaking as I turned the key in the lock.

I flipped on the lights, and we hurried inside. Alice and I had set up our baby Christmas tree the day before, and I'd placed Edward's present under the tree before I'd headed to the airport.

He dropped his bags in my room then came back to meet me in the kitchen.

"Okay," I smiled. "Christmas presents or sex? You choose."

He laughed, and I knew what his answer would be.

"Have you ever met me," he said. "Sex is obviously my answer, but I have a very specific idea in mind."

"Oh God," I laughed. "Throw it at me."

"Well first, I want to make sure we're still on for what we planned," he said. Edward was never shy, so I was surprised when he wasn't more specific.

"What are you talking about," I asked confused. We had made a lot of sex plans while talking about what we'd do while he was home. I had no idea what he was referring to.

"Do you still want me to cum inside you," he asked. I couldn't believe he looked nervous. This man said crazy erotic things to me in bed, but he could hardly manage this one little question. I couldn't help but laugh at him a little.

"Yes," I answered. We had discussed this at length. We both wanted to experience this together. I had been on birth control since we started seeing each other, and we both knew we were only seeing each other. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Not at all," he said. "The thought of it makes me so hard, I just waned to make sure you were still okay with it."

"Definitely," I smiled. "Now what were these specific plans you had in mind?"

"I want you to ride me," he said. His voice was lower as he made a step towards me. I could already feel myself start to tingle. "I want you to ride me on the couch."

He picked me up and set me on the counter and leaned forward to kiss behind my ear.

"Please," I whispered breathily. "I want you so bad."

With that, he kissed me deeply. I felt his tongue at my lips and opened my mouth to grant him access. When I pulled at his lower lip with my teeth he let out a low, guttural moan. He pulled away abruptly, and I could feel the heat of his stare as our eyes met.

"Take your clothes off," he demanded. "Take them off now."

We both tore at our clothes quickly. When they were off Edward picked me up and I locked my legs around his waist. I could feel his cock rub against me with every step he made toward the couch, and I couldn't help but moan. I expected him to take me right then and there, but Edward had other things in mind.

"Sit back and spread your legs," he growled. His voice was so deep and husky. It was doing fantastic things to my insides. His kneeled on the floor in front of me and gave me one swift lick across my clit.

I gasped in surprise as he looked up at me and smiled.

"God, you're beautiful," he whispered. I smiled warmly at him. As I stared into his eyes I couldn't help but think about how much I needed him. His next question snapped me back to the present.

"Do you want me to lick your pussy," he teased. He knew it turned me on so much when he talked dirty.

"Please," I whimpered – finished with the teasing already. He looked like he had something else to say, but I grabbed his hair and guided him back to where I needed him.

He slid two fingers inside me and set to work flicking my clit with his tongue. I was shocked at how close I already was, but I kind of wanted to save my orgasm for the real thing.

"I want you to fuck me," I moaned. He sped his fingers, and I could tell he wanted me to orgasm once before we got down to it. "I want to cum with you."

That got his attention. He gave me one last quick lick and stood up. His dick looked impossibly hard, and my pussy throbbed at the thought of what was to come. He pulled me up by my hand and sat back down in my place.

"Come here, baby," he said. I leaned forward to kiss him then detoured south to quickly lick him from balls to tip. He groaned throatily, and I knew he was completely ready to go. I kneeled beside him then threw one leg over his hips so I was straddling him.

"Don't tease me," he said pulling me forward to kiss my lips. As his tongue entered my mouth, I sank all the way down on his cock. I ground my hips back and forth slowly at first then picked up speed. Edward leaned forward to take one of my nipples into his mouth and I dropped my head back in pleasure.

My body was already tingling, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I came for him. He groaned throatily as I rocked my hips above him signaling that he wouldn't be far behind me.

As I picked up the pace he reached between us to rub my clit, and I exploded. I could feel my pussy squeezing his hard cock as I came, and Edward nearly growled.

"I'm gonna cum, baby," he called. "I'm gonna cum so hard inside you."

"Please," I whimpered. "Cum for me."

With two more hard thrusts, he came. I nearly came again as I felt him shoot inside me. It was the most erotic thing I had ever felt, and I knew I'd never regret being with him like this.

* * *

"I'm fucking exhausted," Edward yawned a few hours later. We'd had sex two more times, and I was currently being forced to watch _The Dictator_. Edward claimed it was hilarious, so I figured I'd give it a try.

"Yeah, well that happens when you have sex three times in as many hours," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Damn, I'm the fucking man," Edward joked. I rolled my eyes again because I knew his ego should probably come down a notch or two. We both laughed.

"Baby, are you gonna feed me or not," he asked. "You just forced me to have mind blowing sex with you for hours, the least you could do is feed me."

"Woah, woah, woah, Forced you? I seem to recall the situation a little differently." He laughed. "As for food, you have two perfectly capable hands."

"You know I'm kidding," he said. "But I'm seriously starving, and I don't think my legs could move even if they wanted to."

"Fine," I said. After all, I was pretty hungry myself. "Are fajitas okay?"

"Sounds perfect, baby" he smiled. God, I loved him. "I'll come out and help you in a few minutes."

I set about chopping up peppers and onions and got them going on the stove before slicing up some chicken. I heard Edward's footsteps coming toward the kitchen a few minutes later.

"Baby," he said. I turned toward him to see what he wanted and was greeted with his gorgeous smile. He was holding today's copy of the school newspaper. "You didn't tell me another one of your stories was published in the paper. That's fantastic," he smiled again.

"We were busy," I said turning back toward the stove. "I guess I forgot."

He came up behind me and locked his arms around my waist as I continued cutting.

"You know I'm proud of you right. I read it, and it's great. You're great."

He always knew how to make me feel incredible. The simplest words from him made my heart soar. I thanked him then turned toward the sink to wash my hands.

We ate a great dinner then spent the rest of the night marathon-ing _Breaking Bad_ and cuddling in my bed. It was the best day I'd had in a long time, and I was already dreading the day I would have to say goodbye again.

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**Sorry for the super long delay. My semester is so crazy right now. I'm going to try to update at least once every two weeks. i know that sucks, but I'll be updating more when things calm down a bit. I love reading your reviews, so let me know what you think is going on, what you think should happen, or just your general opinions! Thanks for reading!**


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